When I was growing up I was rebellious, self centered, and stubborn. I used to look at these undesirable behavior traits as a problem, but in having these behaviors I sure learned a lot. What I learned was:
- People didn’t want to argue with me the greater the argument the stronger I became
- I learned to view life as I’m right, you are wrong or my way is the only way
- Others perceived me as tough and a person to stay away from
- What I view other people miss
- No one knew more about me and my life than me
- People who thought they knew me and the reasons for doing what I did, did not have a clue about me and my beliefs.
- The more assertive I became, the more people backed away from me
- I had fear of everyone, so the stronger the defense I put out, the more people would stay away. Fear attracts fear!
I questioned many times in my life how I had learned just a few of these aggressive and assertive behaviors and I began to understand that each if the behaviors came to me through need. I was and still am a very sensitive person who is very aware of what people say about me, how they view me, and how they feel when they are around me. I am a sensitive, and sensitives need to learn to take care of themselves!
All of this became clear to me when my mother was dying! My mother was the person who taught me many of these skills in assertiveness. She was a strong, caring and tough individual whose behaviors were identical to mine. She and I battled throughout my growing up years in every way you could imagine. At this time, the time of her imminent passing, we were sharing life stories and I was listening very closely to the decisions she was making that were leading her to leave earth plane.
One peace of information that had a huge impact on me was when she said:
“I am not concerned about leaving you, I know that you will always be fine, you know how to stand up for yourself and that is one of the most valuable lessons you can learn in your life’! ”Your brothers and sister I worry about them more, they are not as strong in fighting for what they need for them in their lives!”
All of my life I had been criticized, ridiculed, punished and put down because of the way that she and I fought with one another, mentally, physically, emotionally and yes, even spiritually! Little did I know that these lessons would lead me to working with some of the most difficult, strong, stubborn, rebellious, self centered individuals who are really the most sensitive people who exist on earth plane.
Yes, my mother had it right, I had learned to stand up for myself, and what a valuable lesson that has become in all area’s of my life. I learned in standing up for myself, that each human being I encounter in my life also has a right and need to stand up for themselves! It is important for me to honor their understandings and needs and in return they will honor mine.
Peace, love, light and blessings
For the little witch or warlock in us all!