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Archive for the ‘Life Skills’ Category

There have been many times in my life when reality and success seem to be miles apart and cause great stress, worry and anger for me in my life.  What I have found necessary for me to do is follow the principles of success outlined here, including expressing my feelings of insecurity, fear and anger when appropriate.  Have you every felt angry because of not dealing with the reality in this moment around being successful, right here and right now? If so try this out and observe what happens when you have steps to take, a plan to follow, and your reality to be a part of.

PRINCIPLES OF SUCCESS

  • Express your Feelings
  • Have a Dream – Create a vision for the future NOW. People of excellence have goals and allow those goals to determine their future.
  • Develop a Plan – Organize your thinking and write it down. Those who strive for excellence have a very clear and detailed agenda of every step they need to take along the way.
  • Control your Focus – Don’t do too many things at once or try to please other people. Learn to determine the difference between time well spent and time lost to trivial pursuits. Your use of YES and NO will determine your destiny.
  • Take Personal Initiative – Act as if it all depends on you and be decisive. The fact is that decisive, self determined individuals typically prevail and rise to the top because many people are not so.
  • Practise Self-Discipline – Stay on target so no matter what, even if you think you’ve “gotten there”.
  • Learn to Budget – Put your time, energy and money behind your plan and gain control. All great achievers control their time. It is not necessarily how long we work that matter, it is what we get done in that time period that counts.
  • Take Risks – Above average people learn to take risks and demonstrate enthusiasm and excitement when doing so.
  • Don’t quit After Success – Press on and learn to make persistence a habit. Remember, average people tend to stop after small victories, while successful people understand that small victories really represent opportunity to do more.
  • Enjoy Yourself – Don’t let the small things get you down. Keep the faith and have fun.

Do you agree with these principles?
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For what reasons do you agree or disagree?

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I Would change them to be:

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WHAT HAS STOPPED ME FROM BEING SUCCESSFUL?
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An Affirmation for success!

I know that I am loved, safe and protected as I journey through life.

I have comfort and joy in my life!

I embrace success and I am open and ready to manifest this into my life starting right now!


ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY!
My Personal Affirmation for success is:
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Peace, love, light and blessings!

“White Eagle”

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Step One:

Ask, “Where do I want to see myself in 6 months?

How do I want my life to be?”

“Think of all areas of life: financial, home environment, work or school, possibly business, mental growth, relationships (partner, children, Elders, possible rebuilding?), holiday, food, clothing, self-care. There may be other areas of importance, just include them.”

“Develop a full picture in your mind of your goals.”

Write down your dreams, this is the beginning of your goal setting.

Step Two:

Now draw a line down the center of a page. On the left side write “Barriers” as a heading.”

“Under this heading, make a list of anything that might get in your way to achieving this or these goals.” (Notice that we have more than 1 goal) remember that you are  dealing with a lot of areas of your life.

Step Three:

On the right side of the page, write “What is one small step I can take to shift the energy of this barrier?” Note each step beside the specific barrier, so that you have a visual guide for yourself.

Step Four:

“What do you notice now after going through this process?”

TAKE A LOOK AT THE OUTLINE, AND DEFINE WHAT AM YOU ARE MOVING TOWARD?

Now break this down into achievable steps.

eg.

  • Now
  • 1 week from now
  • 1 month
  • 2 months
  • 6 months
  • choose the time frames that work for you.

Remember that you can look at your life in chunks to make setting goals more manageable i.e. move past a 6 month time frame into a 3 year time frame or a 5 year time frame.

When things come into your conscious mind into the form of awareness and realizations, then they become more manageable and achievable.

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Step Five:

“What have you learned through this exploration in making your dreams a reality through goal setting?”

Peace, love, light and blessings as you move forward with your direction!

“White Eagle”

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Human Beings today certainly do not need to have the Social Skills that they used to!

With Computers, friendship has become expendable. If you are having difficulty with a friend, all you need to do today is cancel them from your life through the internet communication systems! What does that teach us?

How to cancel people from our lives by pushing a button!

I believe that all friends and acquaintances come into my life for a reason.   I will never cancel a person unless I am sure that we have both learned the lessons we needed to learn from one another!  At that time I will talk with them and use the skills I was provided with throughout my life to keep our self esteem intact and know that love is the basis of all relationships, short term or long term!

Peace, love, light and blessings!

“White Eagle”

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I woke up this morning really understanding the importance of living in the now!

  • When I was a young child I always said “When I grow up I want to be a NURSE”! I want to make people better!
  • When I was an adolescent it was “I never want to grow up but I know I have to decide what I am going to do with my life, I am to stupid to be a nurse!
  • When I was 14 I was told by a teacher/counselor that when I grew up I would be good for nothing other than to stay at home, get married if anyone would want me and raise a family and the only courses I could take were secretarial courses because I was not smart enough to be a nurse, or go onto school!
  • Then I became a young adult and fulfilled everyones wishes!
  • I became a secretary, got bored, and worked for many employers!
  • I got married to my childhood boyfriend, was unable to have a family and got divorced!
  • I learned my world was not a kind place to be, and also realized I needed to experience my life based on everyone else’s expectations of me!
  • I began to realize their expectations, continued on a path of self destruction, defeat, and degradation.
  • In others eyes I became successful, moved ahead with a career, went to school, made a lot of money, lived fast,  traveled a lot, became stressed, distraught and lost in the world of everyone else’s expectations!

Finally I became a true adult!

  • I made new choices
  • Left everything that everyone else expected behind me
  • Began to live in the now
  • Became who I am today without the labels and outside expectations
  • I put into practice all of the learning I gained in my life to become a helper of people, not a nurse in the sense I envisioned being as a child, but helping others to help themselves!

I choose in this moment to help people to understand themselves MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY by not listening to only the indoctrinated belief systems and expectations that exist today, but by living in the moment and listening to themselves!

Peace, love, light and blessings to us all on our unique and wonderful journey through life, living in this moment.

“White Eagle”

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What Courses have you taken at the University of Life?

In my lifetime I have attended and taught many programs and courses at Colleges, Universities, and Private Schools.  When I look at  all of these courses, I  learned a lot but I gained the greatest knowledge and what I am  most proud of are the degrees I have given to myself  from the University of Life!

Peace, love, light and blessings as you complete your degrees moment to moment!

“White Eagle”

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If only I had, If only I was, If only I did!!!!

How many times have I asked myself these questions?

This has become  a very sneaky way to chastise myself for not being the way I believe that I should be based on outside judgments made when I compare myself to what I believe is supposed to be normal in this world!

Is anything normal?

Today I know that normal is a reading that only fits with scientific data…..for example my body temperature. I always need to remember that normal does not fit with me in any other way.

  • I am who I am,
  • I have what I have, and
  • I choose to be who, what, where, when, how I am in any given moment and that is what I know as NORMAL.
  • Me choosing to be all that I am and all that I have in this moment NOW!

Peace, love, light, blessings and gratitude for our normalcy right here, right now!

“White Eagle”

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SOMETIMES IT IS

IMPORTANT

TO

STEP BACKWARDS

IN ORDER

TO MOVE

FORWARD!

WE ALL NEED TO KNOW HOW TO BE IN THE ETERNAL NOW AND HOW TO BE IN THIS MOMENT AND CREATE THE CHANGE WE WANT IN OUR LIVES.

Have you ever found yourself wondering about living in the eternal NOW and what that means to you?

I always strive to be in the here and now, not the past or the future, however, I constantly find myself missing much of the valuable information I have gained in the past and end up stuck and unable to move forward and help other people to do the same. I am a counsellor, advocate and trainer of people, and I am constantly having to shift from consciously knowing what experiences I have had in my life that relate to what it is that my clients are going through in order to be effective and responsible with what I do and who I am as a human being.
There are many times in my life that I have wondered about my past and what the reasons were for me having to go through all of the difficult experiences I have gone through in order to arrive in this moment today. In the past I used blame, shame, guilt, pain, and ignorance to cover my reality so that I could maintain what I believed to be my “personal safety“ . This kept me stuck in the muck of my life in order to have situations that were familiar to deal with. When I knew how to deal with all of the negativity, it was challenging, and profoundly simple to stay in the same place. I really did not like me or value me in any way. Today I like who I am, I also treasure many of the experiences I have had in my life, however, there are certainly parts of my life that I have dealt with and I have decided to move beyond, take ownership of my creation of them, and also own the means that I needed to work through the personal changes that have taken place because of the experiences. Amazingly, I have always known that there was a valuable reason for me to have gone through these experiences, and without knowing any different I just put it down to self growth, the evolution of my soul and the unveiling of my life purpose. I had been asking what the reason was once again, and when you ask the question, the teacher usually like magic appears.
My new teacher appeared a few days ago when I met with a wonderful young man who reminded me just how important it is to bring forward the memories from the past, and to relate these memories to where I have moved to today, no matter how negative these memories are!

Although we are all unique human beings there are times that it sure is important to share experiences with another human being, whether they are positive or negative, in order for us all to benefit and move into the realm of being the real, loving, caring and compassionate people that we are today!

Thank you to all of my teachers in the University of Life that I attend every second of every day.

Peace, love, light and blessings!

“White Eagle”  

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Everyday I sit and watch my cats. They are wonderful teachers and everything they do has a simple  purpose. They eat, play, sleep, hunt, clean themselves, clean each other, unconditionally love who they are, and what they do! I certainly feel blessed and included when they choose to include me in their lives. I have learned much from cats, and I will continue to learn from them because just by being around and observing them, I recognize myself, my behaviors and how I react to my world.  Thank you for these most valuable life lessons Angel and Sabbath!

Peace, love and light
“White Eagle”

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There was a small community nestled in the foothills with an extraordinary view of the countryside. The people who lived here were extremely proud of their community and the beautiful scenery that could be viewed from their doorsteps. It was a simple place where everyone had a role and they all worked hard to keep the community beautiful.

Living in this community was a man who one day went from house to house, yard to yard and all over the countryside looking for something. This was his role, he was creative and was able to find many objects to sell and trade because everything was useful.

When a community member needed a unique item, tool, clothing, or useful object this man knew where to find it. He liked to find treasures and re=cycle them back into the community. He could always find a use for things that others no longer required. This man knew where everything was, and was considered to be very good at what he did.

This was an ordinary day and the community people watched this man as he searched, searched, searched and searched, however, this day he seemed to be looking for something he just couldn’t find. The people waited in anticipation for him to find an extremely rare find, but as the time passed, the man was still in search. One of he neighbours stopped to ask him what he was looking for, thinking that he might be able to help with the search.

When the neighbour asked the man what he was looking for the man replied “I’m looking for my horse! The neighbour thought he must have got the information wrong so he asked him again what he was looking for, and the man again replied only this time louder:

“I’M LOOKING FOR MY HORSE”!

The neighbour scratched his head and quietly replied!

“Your sitting on it”!

The man thanked him, laughed nervously and rode away!

This story was shared with me by my dear friend and Medicine Man “Phil”

What are you looking for in your life that you cannot find?

Today many of us scurry through life searching and searching for something that we need or want, when in actual face we may already have it, but just not be aware of what we have.

It is important to become consciously aware because the horse that you are riding may be invisible to you!

Peace, love, light and blessings
“White Eagle”

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What changes have taken place with communication in your lifetime?

Write down every response which comes to your mind! Do not judge or justify what you have written down, just let the words and ideas flow freely. There is no right or wrong, you are only recording words and ideas! Every person who does this exercise will have their own personal and unique perception through living their life in their world!
eg: Cell phones, television, lack of personal contact

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Think about how these changes that you wrote down affect you?

What Skills do you personally have that assist you to deal with all of these changes?

Examples are Listening Skills, writing skills, self awareness

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What skills would you like to learn or develop further to assist you in dealing with all of these changes?

Eg.
Patience, Listening Skills, Creativity
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How are these changes affecting our world:

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DOES OUR WORLD NEED TO BE AWARE OF THESE
KEYS TO CHANGING COMMUNICATION?

  1. Understand Emotion and Vulnerability: The world ahead will become more and more people-centered with an emphasis on human rights and dignity. Messages based on sincerity and genuineness of feeling, using meaningful thoughts and vivid examples, will create the most powerful impact on communication. Intimacy, well thought out and used with care, allows side-by-side, peer dialogue that fosters a much faster, more sincere form of communication.
  2. Communicate by example: As a role model and coach, people will be as you are, not as you say they should be. Walking the talk is motivation in it’s purest form. 21st Century communication will become easier in some respects – just look at email, fax, and the information highway – and harder in the sense that the constant change characterizing the new era will force us to think and communicate at an accelerated level. Even positive change can be disruptive and can break down communication lines. How you react to new ways of thinking and working – your “flexibility factor”- is directly related to powerful communication. People whose lives are out of balance or do not understand the need for balance in those around them do not create an environment for good communication. Balance in life is role modeled by how we choose to deal with both professional and personal attitudes and beliefs. The boundary between an individual’s private and public life is a tenuous one. It is easier to understand and work with the connection than to try to break the interaction.
  3. Any input needs a response: With all of the “quickie communication” available to us, which will only increase in the century ahead, an emphasis on response is critical. Follow-up to a phone call, request, suggestion or completion of assigned work assures that someone is listening. Find other’s “buttons” and encourage them to dialogue. According to experts, 80% of a business day is spent in communication. 45 % of it is spent in listening. An effective manager should spend 60% of the day listening. Build silence into life. Noise creates constant stress for our bodies, affecting immune systems and health. Begin by turning volumes down at work and home. We should create opportunities for ourselves and others for silence.
  4. Help other to see the total picture: Communication today will need to address the continuing demand of the worker to know what the total organizational picture is, what is happening to others in the organization and how they are impacted. Tell them! What’s the big secret? Why not operate in the bright, dazzling light of day. Here it is and this is how it works! Support organized brainstorming and team/consensus building. It takes pressure off any one individual, increases productivity and creates “us” projects.
  5. Acquire and develop knowledge: It is difficult to be true communicators in today’s world without acknowledging that the base of all communication is knowledge coming from within you. As we move forward into this century knowledge will be accelerated. The steps we take now to explore our world—understanding how others think, feel, and act, knowing what is happening around us in all areas of knowledge—will determine the clarity and quality with which we communicate.
  6. Education today is available in an astounding aura of mediums, vehicles and means. It is within the reach of all of us to extend our vocabularies, minds and our universe. True communication is the world of the adventurer, confronting new things, seeking to enlarge territory, and wanting to expand knowledge, eager to deepen our understanding.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THESE WORDS

“YOU CANNOT TEACH A MAN ANYTHING.
YOU CAN ONLY HELP HIM DISCOVER IT WITHIN HIMSELF”!

Written by: “GALILEO”

DISCOVER THE TREASURE CHEST OF RESOURCES
WITHIN YOU THROUGH COMMUNICATION

RESPECT:

  • Did you know that approximately 90% of all communication is non verbal. Respect the uniqueness of the person talking.You may not be understanding what they are and are not saying.

EXPRESSION:

  • What does your expression tell others, and what does theirs tell you?

SILENCE

  • Know when to talk and when to be silent!

OBSERVE

  • Observe you, your actions, body, feelings and how they are affecting your communication with the other person. Observe the other person and what they are saying through their body, actions and feelings, not just their words.

UNDERSTAND

  • Learn how to speak, listen and process the other persons words by first understanding how you personally speak, listen and process information.

RESTATE

  • Let the other person know what you heard them say, and clarify for them what you have said if you don’t think that they understand you. Be clear and direct.

CENSORING

  • The person you are communicating with will only hear what you are saying from their personal perception. When you are listening to them remember to understand their perception without clouding it with your perception.

EXPECT THE BEST

  • You get what you expect! Begin with the end in mind. How do you want it to be? This is called intent!

When you expect the best it comes to you when you use your
RESOURCE / LISTENING SKILLS

Listening Requires:

Silence
Patience
Tuning Out Distractions
Focusing on the person speaking or communicating
Getting Information
Hearing the words, intent and feelings

WHEN WE LISTEN

We create an environment for each other of understanding, consideration and cooperation
We serve each other through our willingness to let others have their personal rights in likes, tasks, tastes, habits and opinions

LISTENING HELPS US TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER WITHOUT ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE THE OTHER PERSON INTO WHAT WE EXPECT THEM TO BE.

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