Posts Tagged ‘no’

Graham Kean

Shared by “Brenda”

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So resonating with this! <3

Shared by “Emmanuel Dagher

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All of my life I have been what I now refer to as an opposite responder.  When someone tells me that I can’t do something my automatic response to that statement is “Watch Me” and away I go and do it.

Today when someone says NO, that automatically means YES to me and YES now means NO.  Now what does all of this mean to you?  This might help!

What I have had to learn in life is how to become consciously aware of these responses of mine in order to stay out of trouble, not get stressed out, or being very exhausted from everyone who knows me saying, but you can’t do that knowing I will go ahead and do it because of my opposite responding to situations.  Can’t do is the same as saying NO to me!  It is CAN NOT abbreviated and my mind instantly knows that!

In the programs that I facilitate today, it always fascinates me to see the number of people that are just like me when it comes to the opposite responses, so one of the first things we talk about is when YES means NO and when NO means YES!

Understanding the difference this makes in our lives can sure simplify the way we live and what we do with our lives!

A few things that I have learned I would like to share with you now.  They are:

  • Be consciously aware as soon as the words CAN’T, YES and NO touch your lips…..What are you really saying?
  • When you say NO does that really mean YES and is what you are about to do beneficial for you, or the rest of the world…Who will this action make a difference to? Are you being rebellious only to prove a point?
  • When others tell you that you CAN’T do something, check it out and determine if you really want to do it before you do!
  • When people learn that your NO means YES, be cautious and learn to give your response in a very different way so that they will not push you to do what deep down you choose not to do!

FOLLOW THIS LITTLE SECRET in order to have people really understand that you do know what your NO really is.

When someone asks me now to do something that I really do choose to not do, instead of saying NO I always use this phrase and any hassles around saying NO, mine of the other persons automatically disappear…..!

Are you ready?

Here it is……

All you need to say is YES, I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO BUT I CAN’T (CAN NOT)!  

Just like Magic the person will walk away, change their own perspective and no longer ask you to do that which you really deep down choose not to do!

Peace, love, light and blessings!

“White Eagle”

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I am always needing to remind myself  of how important my boundaries are to me in every realm.

  • Mentally,
  • Physically,
  • Emotionally and
  • Spiritually.

In order to maintain my boundaries I need to be consciously aware when things, situations, people, and feelings are not fitting with who I am from the inside to the outside.  Today my favorite words when I am setting my boundaries with myself and others are NO and YES, I WOULD LOVE TO BUT I CAN’T.

I need to use both because I have been socially conditioned to be polite…….never to say NO…..Wow, what a world I live in and create moment to moment!

Peace, love, light and blessings!

“White Eagle”

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“I am thankful to all those who said NO to me”!

It’s because of them I did it myself and learned who I truly was and what I am capable of doing.”
Shared by “Soul to Soul”

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Shared by “White Eagle”

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In setting boundaries for myself today there are 3 things I need to remember!

  • Boundaries are set for me by me to keep me grounded, safe and secure in my world as I create it for me.
  • In setting my boundaries the most important skill I have is understanding how to use and respond to two very simple words:            1. YES     2.NO
  • Listening to myself first and others second will guide me to set boundaries that will provide safety for us all (Mentally, Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually).

Being consciously aware of these things in this moment will guide me through life with ease, rather than dis-ease!

Peace, love, light and blessings

“White Eagle”

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When I was a child I was taught well what is socially acceptable in this world and what is not!

My mother was a real stickler for getting it right and being a good Mom, so one of the first things that I learned in life was to be agreeable.

I remember my lessons on YES and NO as clearly as if  it was today. The word NO was simply not acceptable in the world!  So when I was asked to do something that I really did not want to do,  inside of me a little voice would pop into my thoughts and I would say NO but outside I would go ahead and do, just because I was not supposed to say NO.  Then when I became a teenager I really didn’t care about the words YES and NO so I learned to get my own way by saying YES and not doing it.  The benefit to this was I sure got a whole lot of attention when I didn’t do it and the whole campaign to say NO to drugs, seemed very rude to me, but that is another whole story to get into later!

This brings me to today, where when I say NO, people just seem to push me once I have said it, until I finally break down and do it.  This creates a whole lot of havoc in my life with:

  • Myself
  • My Family,
  • My Friends,
  • People I Work with,
  • People In the Community
  • My Pets and
  • All of my leisure activities!

A few years ago a very wise mentor of mine took me aside when I had agreed to do something and never followed through with accomplishing what I said I would do and asked me if my YES always mean’t NO.  This sure stopped me in my tracks as I started to laugh and said YES, then he asked me if my NO always mean’t YES, and a whole new world of understanding opened up for me.  My messages had sure gotten mixed up because of my early programming in life and not being able to say and mean what I said because of the social conditioning in my young life.

So what did I do with all of this learning?

I became aware of my behaviors and patterns when using the words YES and NO, I observed how other people in my life treated me when I used the words YES and NO, and I learned how to make my NO mean NO and my YES mean YES.

Here it is:

When someone asks me to do something I chose not to do I become socially correct and use the word YES!  I simply say:

  • YES, I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT I CAN’T!  It sure is amazing what people do when I say this, they back off and do not ask me anymore or,

When I know the word NO is necessary for the other person to hear  I become assertive and say

  • NO !  NO WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT! and once again the person will back away knowing that I mean what I say!

If you realize that your NO means YES and your YES means NO, these two little tips may help!

Enjoy your Day or Not!

Peace, love, light and blessings!

“White Eagle”

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The two most powerful words that exist today, in my opinion, are YES and NO!

 There is not a choice I have made that cannot be dealt with by using one of these two very powerful words.

There are some problems that do arise from using these words and it stems from how we are conditioned to use or not use these words in our life time.

Have you been given permission in your life to use the word NO?

When I was a child I remember being told to not say NO!  It was rude and impolite.  By receiving that message at a very young age, it limited my choices and led me through many life experiences that I really did not want to have in my life.

On the other hand I was also taught to not agree with everything in my life, and to be cautious of saying YES to those people who may want to use me for their own gain!  What a non-decision making position I was in.  If I said NO I was rude, if I said YES I was used!

I was so thankful when Neurontology came into my life and I learned about these two very small but powerful words that created the greatest problems for me in my life.

Through learning about Neurontology, I learned to handle these words by first understanding which word I needed to use in order to change my behavior and be honest with myself.

My inability to say NO led to my greatest problems, so I learned to always preface the word NO with YES.  All it takes is using the word, changing the context and it is saying NO in a way that my pre-programmed self can handle.  The phrase I use today when I want to say NO is…….YES, I WOULD LOVE TO BUT I CAN’T!  It is certainly amazing how people do not push me to say YES to something I choose not to do when I use this statement.

If you are a person who knows how to say NO and use it as a defense mechanism that stops you from learning and growing, you to can use the word in the same way!  When I use this phrase and feel that I need to justify the NO, it becomes simple……NO, I haven’t, or NO way but I am willing to try it!

Enjoy the play with what you say today! or not!

Peace, love, light and blessings!

“White Eagle”

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